Sunday, July 27, 2008

Portraits of Statisticians: Ostilio Ricci

"Hey, hey Ostilio!"

"What?"

"Like, what's your deal man?"

"My deal is that I roll with The Footnote Posse, man."

"The Footnote Posse?"

"The Footnote Posse."

"Man, what's The Footnote Posse?"

"It's a gang for all the great people of history who have become overshadowed by a 'more important' associate or are just remembered for some damn thing that got nothing to do with what they were doing, if you follow."

"I guess. Flesh it out a little."

Well, take me: you know what my role in history is? 'Galileo's Mentor.' That's it. Not 'brilliant natural philosopher' and 'fearless scientist possessed of unbounded imagination.' The best I get is 'had a pretty good eye for fresh talent.' What the fuck is that? It makes me sound like a goddamn guidance counselor."

"That does suck. So who else is in the Footnote Posse?"

"Let's see: there's literary dudes like Max Brod, who's basically only known as 'the guy who didn't burn Kafka'; and Cyril Kornbluth who 'wrote some books with Frederick Pohl.' Politicians like American president William Henry Harrison-"

'The shortest serving president, the one who died after 31 days?"

"That's him. What else can you tell me about WHH?"

"Man, not a damn thing."

"That is EXACTLY what I'm talking about. Taft's here too, on account of people only remembering that he was a fatass.Who else? George Lazenby, Joseph Priestley, Rosalind Franklin, Jack Lescoulie-"

"Who?"

"He hosted the Tonight Show between Steve Allen and Jack Parr."

"So he's like a footnote to a footnote?"

"Hey you watch your mouth about Jack Parr!"

"Sorry man, but like, all anybody knows about Jack Parr is that he hosted before JC."

"Yeah, I guess. Hey speaking of JC we got Mithras and Simon Magus rolling with us."

"I meant Johnny Carson."

"I know you did man, it was an association of ideas. Like how rolling reminds me of logs and that reminds me that Jim Messina is with us."

"Who? Wait, Logs, logs...The other guy from Loggins and Messina?"

"You got it."

"Motherfucker I am done talking to you."

1 comment:

Agent Audrey said...

If my footnotes talked I would save so much time.